The feeling that I'm ripping someone off-that I am too closely copying someone bothers me greatly. There is an unuttered fear (almost like one of your typical bad dreams) that I don't have an original bone in my body-that my every thought and everything I produce is based on other people's work.
There are worse evils in this world, but that doesn't make me any more comfortable with thoughts like these. It was my intent when living in NYC (where the stars are, in fact, born) for so many years-to be the next art star-to be the most original thinker/sculptor/painter-what utter fantasy. Since that time, I've realized that I am directly wired to the making/creating process. The originality part is secondary (Yes, it's important, but I also know my priorities) but I still have art-star longings.
I'm facing this issue once again as I have longed to get out of the rut that's captured me for quite a while. No one else sees me in a rut, but they look only at the work, not at the process...the difference between a rut and a grave? The depth of the hole.
I've recently looked (maybe a little too closely) at the work of Terry Turrell. I have to admit, I'm wowed by his sculptural work to the point where I've started using heads as a sculptural jumping-off point. I can hear you all now-what's new or plagiaristic about the use of the human head as a sculptural form? Nothing, I answer, it's just that he did it first and oh-so-well.
Anyhow, I'm cutting heads and painting and nailing stuff to them-guess you will have to be the judge as to whether I'm just a copyist or if I have something new to say...but, you'd best give me a little time to develop....and get over my sycophancy.
You do the judging, and I'll cope with the guilt.
Did I make a mistake? I bought a cheap set of Gouache colors yesterday at the Jerry's store in West Orange-a little nervous about approaching them. Meanwhile, I need to carve (pardon the stupid pun) out a little time to work on several of the more promising canvases that surround me here in this workroom.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment