Delilah

Forgive me if I wander off topic a bit (I suppose the real topic is art), but here is a bit of my life.

I have two old dogs, both adopted-one from a family who had to give her up because of extenuating circumstances (Rhonda) and one who was found as a stray-her origin unknown (Delilah).

Delilah is a big dog, 70 pounds of short-haired mixed breed (labrador and some other kind of hound in her) with a bony head and a good disposition-towards people. In her eyes, other four-legged creatures (besides Rhonda, the alpha dog) are either for sport or food. She has never been good with cats and she once not only chased a bear from the yard, but eye-witnesses said she bit the thing on the ass. This dog was muscle bound and built for speed.

Anyway, from the moment we met her, this dog staked out property in our hearts.

When she would get off her lead (I've never been one for letting my dogs run free, especially since people can't seem to leash their cars), it was apparent how she became a stray. When I tired to catch her, she would toy with me, letting me come somewhat close, then taking off again. Many dark wintery mornings I drove around the neighborhood in pursuit of this dog, only to find her waiting for me at home when I returned. Quite unlike her "sister", who never lets me out of her sight (Rhonda is your one-owner type dog). Once, when Delilah got loose, I saw her jumping up on cars that had stopped (so as not to hit her)-it looked as though she was pleading with the drivers "please, they are hurting me here...please take me with you...anything but this...". Right.

It is really hard to see her slowly and inevitably slip away-this past year she has been in a gradual decline: loss of eyesight, partial loss of hearing and of the ability to firmly stand. She is in no pain that I can see-I ask other people about this all of the time (I'm too attached to trust my own judgement). She still seems to have a hearty appetite, loves to go for car rides and still begs for attention (oh yeah, and food as well).

But last night, it was all I could do to get her to stand up and go outside. She was listless-what really put me over the top was that for the first time, she refused her food. I wound up feeding her by hand-she seemed to eat everything, but this was a lengthy process. I was not so steady myself while I was doing this. She is at least 15 years old-we don't know her exact age-but she has lived a good life or at least she has while in our hands.

I spose that she and I know her time is almost up. Someone once told me that the dog will tell you when it's time. I'm afraid that that time is coming very soon. As prepared for this as I'd like to be, the thought of losing her is agonizing.