It's Personal

It's personal.

This dialogue that I've been having between me and me. It has all taken place in this room I call studio that is encased in the walls of my home.

Four three or four hours the dialogue has been constant, but rarely verbal. I've done most of it with brush and paint on canvas, with occasionally a pencil or bit of cardboard (serving as a scraper for excess paint) thrown into the mix.

Presently, I seem to do well working on five or more canvases at once, all in a state of semi-finish or works in progress. I feel as though I've become mature enough to realize or at least entertain the possibility that none of these canvases might ever be "finished" by my standards. I guess those of you that know me will realize that painting has always been a weak spot-that I am a far more "accomplished" sculptor than painter (all that means is that I hang a lot more sculptures on a wall with titles and prices and call them complete-of course, being the maker of these beauties, if I so desire, I can recall them back into the land of works in progress -such power! That is, until they leave my hands.) and that few paintings have recently left my hand.

Anyhow, in thinking back over the past few hours, I'd like to see the video to examine just how the "conversations" have gone. What has come with ease is the hopping from one canvas to the other and I feel as though I am getting braver in blotting out big areas-in general, see less and less of what I had painted before as precious...this is a big gain for me-if you know this problem -of thinking parts of a canvas sacrosanct and untouchable, then you must know what it's like to have your tail nailed to the floor...anyhow, to some degree, I feel more secure in approaching these paint holders in the way that Picasso made a metaphor-like the Toreador engaging the bull...and no one likes a wimpy fight.

My ideas and influences in going at these paintings are all over the map-maybe that's the way it's sposed to be-I remember being younger and going at a blank canvas with a photo or sheet torn out of a magazine. Not quite how it is for me these days-if I have a visual reference, it won't be used as something to copy, but rather as a jumping off point. Lately I've used photos of other artists' work for this very reason (there-it's out of the bag-I'm a copyist! Just a dumb plagiarist!) Of course, what better place to start off than where you have marked your place in studying art history! From this start, I feel spring-wound in that ideas seem to richochet off the visual and/or off the ideas generated by the same...dunno how this makes for five, six, seven or even eight directions, but it does. at first, things progress in a linear fashion, but soon I find the second painting speaking to issues that the fourth painting has engaged. I'm not going to try and recount my progress or "conversation" through the past few hours, but i think that you get the idea.

Does everyone or no one work this way? It certainly seems to be a far different feeling than when working in 3D....

ps got a "real" job the other day-more details later-at this point, it will add a lot of interest to the mix-so far, I find the whole thing energizing! Don't get jealous, Steve!

This pc is called "Costume Ball at the Eye Institute." I traded it with Justin Robinson at Kentuck last year.